Great People of America, Lend Me Your Pickles!

Political discourse has eroded into name calling, labeling, and just plain animosity.  Many find this trend disturbing and seek clean conversation with "the other side." There is nothing wrong with disagreement, but we are better than this!  We have a rule, like many families, in our home to prevent foul language and name calling.  And, trust me, it works!  So, let's just try it in political discourse.

Is there any better way to get an argument calmed down than humor?  Yes, this is childish, but so is calling someone Libtard or Republitard.  Instead, insert your favorite snack.  In my house, we insert pickle as the substitute.  There is nothing better than yelling at your son, for poor behavior, and throwing in pickle at the end.  Let me demonstrate from experience, "Will, stop hitting your sister; you are acting like such a pickle!"  And, this causes three reactions.

1. First, he goes from crabby to laughing because it will catch him off guard.
2. Second, he actually stops!
3. Third, I calm down from my frustration as well.

Diffusing the situation in this way leads to much more productive behavior for all involved.

Why stop there?  Find a verb, adjective, adverb that doesn't fit in the conversation and just insert it when someone really angers you.  Just stop and think, what would make the least amount of sense to get the point across?  The less it fits, the better.  Challenge yourself to find the best substitute for what y

ou intended to say.  Part of this is the game we play with ourselves.

If you are reading this and saying to yourself, he is full of bull pickle; then just wait until someone does it to you. If you curse and insult to the point of embarrassing drunken sailors, you might want to only insert one pickle, not two or more (get your mind out of the gutter!) in a sentence.  

Don't expect some great response.  First of all, you may confuse them and think that you are using some sort of code.  We all know how suspicious people in political social circles can be.  Second, expect that a response may take a moment, as you may leave your opposition scratching their head. Third, you may still get an insult thrown back at you.  If so, just carry on and try again at some other point.

Need examples?  Yes, I can accommodate:

"Is that a republitard in our midst?" becomes "Is that a pickle in our midst?"
"Liberals are stupid a**holes when it comes to economic matters." becomes "Liberals are hairy hotdogs when it comes to economic matters."

We are all human, and we have emotions.  Yes, we get angry and we sometimes regret the things we say.  Remember, you are talking to someone's mom, sister, brother, father, kid, cousin, etc.  We are all angry, no one is listening, and we can only lead by example.  This is my public service announcement and I sticking to it!